In 2005, I (Nicole) was diagnosed with a chronic, incurable, auto-immune disease called Multiple Sclerosis.

I was a 30-something, over scheduled, perfectionist, rock-star, “Sure, I can be there and help with that,” mom to a 3 year old and a 5 month old baby who had always considered herself extremely healthy. In short, I was practically the poster-child for “most likely to be diagnosed with MS.”

I was shocked, stunned. Sickness was for the weak. Chronic illness was even worse!

I scoured the Internet and became immobilized with terror. I begged my mom and husband not to look it up online (but you can because I’m not going to waste time teaching about the disease here.)

That first year after diagnosis, I had relapse after relapse, likely brought on by the stress I subjected myself to around my new diagnosis.

I dove into the disease like a champion — MS had picked the wrong girl to go up against!

I committed to and learned how to give myself daily injections of therapeutic medication. For three years, my MS Walk team raised award-winning amounts of donations.

I learned how to live wisely within the limits of my energy. I practiced in the mirror until it felt almost natural to say, “Yes, thank you. The (help, meal, babysitting, etc.) you are offering would be a blessing to my family.” I realized I could love Wonder Woman without killing myself trying to be a modern mothering version of her.

My journey over a decade with MS has had challenges, but, in general, I have a pretty light case of the disease. Further, I credit MS as a blessing and mentor in my life because it has taught me so many valuable lessons.

I, very truly, consider MS a blessing in my life.

My MS diagnosis helped me assess and clarify my priorities, my goals, and my calling.

Previously I was a people-pleaser and perfectionist. I wrongly assumed I was a superhero for whom the laws of time and self-care did not apply. I thought I could do it all, all the time, and do it perfectly.

I was wrong. Even without a diagnosis that is impacted by stress, I was causing harm to myself, my relationships and my children by not being more honest and intentional.

MS gives me the blessing of honoring that I am human, created, called and gifted by God for specific good works God prepared for me in advance. This means not every good thing is mine to do. MS gave me motivation to use wisdom and discernment to order my days, choose where to spend my energy for the day, and focus on honoring The Lord and my family as my highest priorities.

I thank MS that I have learned how to say no; how to ask for help; and how to share the burdens of life. I thank MS for giving me a window into the lives of people who live with visible and invisible disabilities; for crafting my heart for deeper compassion for the suffering and challenges they endure.

I trust that God uses (not “causes”) every part of our life journeys to mature us into Christlikeness and shape our hearts to be like God’s.

While we travel, I will continue on my disease modifying injectible medication as long as the pharmacy will ship 90 day supplies to me around the world. I will eat whole foods and minimize intake of things that make my body feel slow and awful (although I have found the wheat gluten products in Europe don’t impact me nearly as much as those in the US). I will pursue solid sleep, even when that means medications and earplugs. We will limit ourselves to one big activity per day even though there is so much more to see and do in each area. As a family, we will cultivate a practice similar to Sabbath rest so each week has breathing and resting room. And, finally, I officially give myself permission to bow out of any plan, event, etc. as needed so I can honor my body’s need for rest and wellness.

Nevertheless, for the duration of Our World Edventure, MS can kiss my dust!