Waves of panic roll over me at the weirdest times. While driving. While sharing precious time with friends. While watching my girls live out their “normal life” in our “normal, everyday routines.”

And then a wave of panic pummels me, flipping me head over feet, leaving me gasping and teary.

I am doing something crazy with my family — to my family. I was a primary instigator of this plan. Guilty of the premeditation.

I have an idea that, returning from a life-changing trip like this, what I/we experience as “normal life” will change. That we are in the last days of having this pace of life, this So Cal culture, this OC culture, this home, this level of consumption, these assumptions, etc. make perfect sense and feel comfortable.

And, on so many levels, I feel like that is one of the most important aspects of the education we will receive on this trip. It is time to have a broader perspective on what really matters in life and what is worth living for.

But I also imagine that learning process, and the re-entry into our “normal, everyday routines” at the end of this trip may be excruciating at times.

So I breathe deeply, slow down my racing heart, observe and appreciate.

I make detailed to-do lists. I procrastinate tasks and spend time with people. I cling to Scripture and especially to my devotional word, “abide.”

And I try to roll with the waves as they come.